Sending a smoke signal can be easy and fun, plus it's a great excuse to make s'mores and tell ghost stories. There are however, some basic safety rules that you should follow to avoid being injured, maimed, killed, looking stupid or being arrested.

Safety rules to consider when sending a smoke signal

1. Whenever possible, construct your fire outdoors. Failure to comply with this rule may cause your office to become slightly more smoky than usual, and may result in your landlord refusing to renew your lease agreement. Additionally, constructing a fire indoors will often result in the deployment of your building's sprinkler or halon systems. The responding fire fighters will usually not be amused by your antics, and will probably want to share the story with local law enforcement officers.
2. Avoid using accelerants such as napalm or thermite to start your fire. While at the moment, it may seem exhilarating to watch a tremendous fire ball shoot up into the sky, your opinion will likely change when you no longer have eyebrows. Instead, have the new guy/girl at the office use them to start your fire, while you sit back and watch from a safe distance.
3. In order to produce the thick, billowing smoke needed for your smoke signal, you should use green wood, rather than some of the less environmentally friendly materials such as tires, soda bottles or your ex's personal belongings. After all, what good is it to send us a smoke signal if we'll all be swimming in a sea of melted ice caps and breathing greenhouse gases next week?
4. After your message has been sent and all of your s'mores have been consumed, you must extinguish your fire. Don't assume it will just go out all on it's own. It won't. Designate one member of your staff (this is where seniority comes in) to be responsible for this. Remember stop, drop and roll? Instruct them to do just that on top of the fire. If said staff member is well liked, it is permissible to douse them with stale coffee before they begin this task. Note — you may need to designate two or more staff members to extinguish particularly large fires, such as those used for long distance smoke signals.

Other things to consider when sending a smoke signal

1. Smoke signals generally lose effectiveness during inclement weather and should not be used during floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, typhoons , tsunamis or blizzards. Additionally, smoke signals may not be particularly effective in areas currently engulfed in a brush fire or anywhere during the apocalypse.
2. We can not receive files via smoke signals. Files can be sent via CD or electronically, either via email or FTP.
3. Upon the complete transmission of your smoke signal, but before extinguishing your fire, you should call us to confirm that we received your message in it's entirety.
4. Conducting conference calls with smoke signals can be difficult at best, especially if several members of the call are in close proximity to each other. Try to limit your communication to no more than two people. Note — as surprising as it may be, the technology for call waiting and caller id has not yet been developed in smoke signals, but we think it may be any day now!

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Give us a call at 800-718-9072 or request a price quote today to see how we can help your business grow like wildfire! By the way, please put down the matches. It's only a joke—we don't actually condone starting fires in your office (unless you happen to work at a certain unethical SEO firm that shall remain nameless).

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